Response (Wolfs): Just saying my side.....

As you can see, Bunbun made a post with (almost) the same title. 

Well, here's my response, I'm going to be writing this because I'm gut-less and I can't say anything in RL without chickening out. 

Now, here's my side. 

Last weekend, Bunbun and I were fighting and finally I promised to play 4Square with her the entire week. On Monday, our teacher was talking about getting our yearbooks and I whispers* something about getting signatures during PE, and she laughed so I guess she heard me. Then, while I was doing this she only glared at me. On Tuesday, we had our end of the year party, while the party Bunbun came up to be and said "You're always making promises you can't keep..." and I questioned her, and she said I didn't play 4Square but I told her I wasn't going to be playing it. I dunno if she thought I was joking or she didn't hear me, but I did say I wasn't. I swear. Well, for the rest of the party Bunbun glared at me and didn't really respond to anything I did. Later on, when they asked did we have a good time, I lied. I didn't have a lot of fun, Bunbun ruined it. I didn't care about what happened before she made me upset, I couldn't stop thinking about it because every time she glared at me, a little piece of me died... Well, after school Bunbun went to What's house and they hung out... I was just broken. Is she really my friend? What about whatwhat? Why does it hurt so much? These questions ran through my mind. And then, I said I was offline on Skype and wrote in the Mood box "I don't want to talk .-." and I was crying. I didn't care Bunbun was at What's house I was just crying because I hated what my life had become: everyone else was better than me, I had no real friends that I could stay in contact with, I had to pretend to be "happy" everyday just so I didn't get everyone in my face asking "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" and so on. What asked her dad if I could come and he'd finally agreed. Reluctantly, and gave her my mom's # and she called. I didn't want to even look at Bunbun, every time I did, I thought of her horrible unwelcoming eyes burning into me... The only reason I agreed was because there would be no 4 Square and I just wanted to stay away from my laptop, because if I stayed near my computer I would just start writing and cry for ages. Anyway, when dinner came along, Pup's parents came and they brought her yearbook-since she was in France-she asked that we'd get some signatures from certain people. On Wednesday, What & I went to her class to get the signatures, when we came back Bunbun glared at me, every second of that tore me apart. I stood in the line for 4 Square and when it was *my turn* Bunbun just looked at me and asked me if I was going to play or chicken out (something like that). Well, I was actually in the front of the line but I didn't want to play with Bunbun so I said "[What's name] is in front of me..." I nudged What and she went to play, and two people were actually out so I had to go in Square D. Bunbun still acted like I didn't play 4 Square that day, the same day we had an assembly and they were giving out awards. At one point in assembly, I whispered to her "33 minutes to free choice!" and she just growled (in my mind) "Great, you can get more yearbook signings." 

What? 

It took me a long time to take that in, but once I did, I'd finally got an award, and I desperately tried to blink the tears in my eyes away. When we went back to class, I was still upset, and I leaned on What and said "I'm tired..." No, I wasn't really tired. If I opened my eyes tears would stream down and they wouldn't stop, and I didn't need/want anyone to treat me nicely because I was crying and I wanted this to be my personal business. No one else's (ironically). Well, I told Whatwhat everything, she told me it's okay to cry, but I told her I had to keep it inside because I wanted this personal and I was fighting to hold back my heart-broken wails and tears. Today, I told Bunbun but I couldn't tell her how I truly felt. 

In short, I am torn apart... I've been like this for a while. I sick of everyone being better than me... I made a post about this but deleted it, because no one really read it. And part of it was for Bunbun but there were no comments, and I guess she didn't care enough to read it... But here's what I wanted her to see: 

Recently, we dissected a bull frog. And well, I was sitting at a table with a guy, Bunbun, Whatwhat, & myself (of course). Bunbun & the guy were sitting on the small side on the table, at least when we started. The guy moved over next to me, and Bunbun had pulled the plate with the bull frog on it really close to her. I asked the guy to move back to he was when we started but he said he couldn't see from where he was. 

I said I couldn't see and Bunbun gave me this doubtful-untrusting look... That actually made me cry. Now-a-days it feels like Bunbun doesn't trust me. So I'm trying to stay away from her... All she does these days is make me cry... 

There's still somethings I need to address...

Bunbun, Whatwhat follows me and hangs out with me because I guess she feels like I'll have nothing to do if you play 4 Square or she just doesn't like it either. I've actually told her a few times not to follow me because you'd feel left out. And there are no secrets. We find what we're talking about funny 'cause we act it out, or say it in different accents etc. I find it much better than playing 4 Square. :( 

I wasn't trying to be "derpy" that face was a mask of my true feelings. And to be honest, I hated when all we did was sit around and stare at the monitor of What's desktop. 

Well... That's it... I hope you know you really hurt me... And I actually considered not being your friend anymore because sometimes you act like I'm crap and I don't have feelings. :( 

-Wolfs </3