What it's like being ace/aro

Hello everyone. I've wanted to write this for like forever and I might as well get it over with. 

So recently realized I was ace/aro. If you don't know what that means it's fine. This isn't what I would call a 'mature' topic, so I think all the kiddies can enjoy this too. 

Ace is short for asexual. Aro is short for aromantic. 

When I say 'asexual' I'm not referring to how I reproduce, I'm talking about my sexuality.  

Asexual means not feeling sexual attraction, and aromantic means not feeling romantic attraction. (Quick tip: never assume just because someone is aseuxal it means they're aromantic, vise versa.) 

Before I share what it feels like to be me, I'm just going to explain what it was like prior to this. 

So ever since I was a young 'un I never really had a crush on anyone. I remember people asking me 'who's your crush?' and just being unsure what to say, and typically just answering whoever my friends liked or who was popular. I also remember lots of confusion around my sexuality recently. For a long time I figured I was pansexual, but just hadn't found anyone I liked yet. Then I decided that I wasn't ready to label myself, and for that period of time I was so confused because I wasn't sure why I never had crushes before. At first I decided I was just a late bloomer, however I realized that couldn't be the case and I felt so terrible. The questioned lingered- what's wrong with me?.

Only a few months ago I learned the terms ace/aro, and instantly I felt soooo glad. There were others like me.

Now here's the thing about identifying as ace/aro. People have a tendacy to say and ask things that are super hurtful. For example, the day I came out as ace/aro, and I told one of my best friends they instantly replied with 'don't worry you'll like boys when you're older', which isn't an uncommon thing for me to hear now that I'm openly ace/aro. I find this so offensive, because it's like you're telling me my sexuality isn't real and it's just a phase that I'll pass though, and even if it was, it's so rude to say that to someone! Plus I'm not worried, I'm happy I know my sexuality. Imagine how you'd feel if I went up to you and you were happily married or whatever and I said 'it's just a phase, you'll get over it don't worry!!' I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be happy with me saying that so don't say it to me.

For whatever reason, when I came out as ace/aro it was seen as annoying as I kept embracing it, and I was told 'it's okay, you're not different because you're not straight.'
Another thing I hear a lot is asexuality/aromantic isn't 'real' or you can choose to be asexual/aromantic. I personally can't understand why anyone would want to be ace/aro. Especially in a world like today where pretty much everyone is focused on romances. And telling me my sexuality isn't real is so hurtful because that makes me feel so alone and isolated. No matter what you say about my sexuality being false, it's nice for me to have a word because I can find other people who feel the same and I can talk with them and feel not isolated.

Speaking of feeling isolated, one thing I would really appreciate is representation. This isn't just exclusive to people who are ace/aro, this really goes for everyone in the LGBTQA community. This is so important because it lets people know that it's not weird to identify as anything besides straight/cis, and it helps you not feel alone/different if you identify as anything besides straight/cis. I don't care if only 0.01% of the population is part of the LGBTQA+ community. Seriously.

Another thing that pisses me off SO MUCH when talking about this topic is when people say that the 'A' in LGBTQA stands for ally. (An ally is someone who is not LGBTQA but supports them). The A stands for multiple things but one thing it does not stand for is ally.  Allies are not oppressed, in fact if you're straight/cis you're privileged so stop complaining. It's great that you support us, however part of being an ally is accepting you don't get a letter.

Lastly, why are critics saying some characters in shows/movies who are queer/not cis for 'no reason'. That just enforces the idea that being cis/straight is the default, which by the way, is really damn offending. It also solidifies the idea that just average/normal people can't be anything but straight/cis.

Sorry this post isn't too organized. I've been working on this post for quite a bit & I am really not in the mood to edit this too much, thanks.

~Wolfs4evea
(Might continue my ranting in a part two)

The aftermath of a toxic friendship...

A few years ago I was friends with this girl (we'll call her H), and although I didn't realize it at the time it was a toxic relationship.

A toxic relationship is an unhealthy relationship. It doesn't necicarly have to be like hitting or whatever, but if the person is always putting you down and using you it's probably a toxic relationship. 

I'm just going to quickly summarize what it was like at the time and then go into how it's still affecting me today, despite the fact that it's been 3 years. 

So when I was friends with H she really used me. And was power hungry, forcing me to go with her and bully my friends (I regret that so much and hate myself for ever even doing that), and not only that she seemed convinced it was a good idea to make me feel absolutely terrible. I remember there was a point in my life that when I got home I would cry because I hated what happened to me. I also remember her getting tired of me after awhile, and replacing me. (I should have realized she did this earlier, but she's the kind of person you just really want to be friends with so I was blinded). H just happened to want to be extremely popular and at the time, and shunned me whenever I tried to object, and even made me follow certain dumb trends. 

Basically what I'm saying is she was mean to me and my other friends, forced me into doing things I didn't want to do and made me feel worthless.

Now here's the aftermath.

Whenever I'm around her, I start panicking. I feel lightheaded, my breathing becomes uneven, I feel sick, I can't focus and just in general it's a terrible experience. Even being around her new friends makes me feel this way, and even when I'm not around them I remember their remarks and feel panic-y.

And this is why I hate 'forgive & forget', 'don't hold grudges' or any other term of the sort, because sure it's good to let things go or forgive, however I can't just 'forget' this. This doesn't just apply to me, it applies to anyone in a toxic/abusive relationship. These sayings are unfair and assume they haven't scarred you.

Now before I go, please please PLEASE ǝsɐǝld NEVER STAY IN A TOXIC/ABUSIVE RELATION!!!! Don't listen to people who tell you otherwise! It's doesn't matter if it's just a friendship or you're dating, NEVER EVER EVER EVER! stay in an abusive relationship.
PLEASE!!!

~wolfs

Why I don't like Meghan Trainor

 

I felt obliged to make this post after two of my close friends got pissed off because I don't like Meghan Trainor, before you continue, please please please please ǝsɐǝld PLEASE do not say start a debate, I'm not interested. 

She's not actually fat

The thing about Meghan Trainor is she isn't actually fat. She's average. This isn't a very strong reason, however it's important because 1) people who are actually fat might think that they are way too fat (if that makes sense) and this might wreak their self conscious, or 2) average sized people who might start believing they're fat, when they're not and (once again) wreak their self conscious.

"I'm not a feminist."

I don't think this is a very strong reason, but it's worth mentioning. Although I don't have any direct quotes, her intentions reflect feminist ideals and this enrages me because this sends out the wrong idea of feminism out to people. 

All About That Bass

The song 'All About That Bass' may seem body positive, but it's not. Sure, it tells girls who are fat to love themselves, however it at the same time shames skinny girls. Just because you're skinny doesn't mean you love your body. This song is just as bad as any song that shames fat girls, it's a gross song, and if that isn't bad enough, it claims that feeling confident depends on a man's opinion. Like what!? Even if that's not the intended meaning of the song, it sounds clear to me and she's not really getting the 'correct' meaning through.

"I wasn't strong enough to have an eating disorder... I tried to go anorexic for a good 3 hours. I ate ice and celery, but that's not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like 'Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like imminently." 
If you haven't got the hint, this is (a disgusting) quote from Meghan. Hard to believe, huh? There are so many things wrong with this quote, so don't mind if I type a lot. 1) The 'I want's strong enough to have an eating disorder.' is so revolting. Metal illnesses aren't 'strengths', strength is pulling yourself out of a metal illness. Honestly this is like saying 'I wasn't sad enough to be depressed.' or 'I didn't act well enough to pass for schizophrenic.'  It's such a hurtful and terrible thing to say! 2) 'I tried to go anorexic for a good 3 hours.' This pisses me off so much. It's not a new fad diet that you can choose to par take in. It's a SERIOUS metal illness with a DEATH TOLL and lands several people in the hospital yearly. Ignorance like this is why so many people with metal illnesses suffer in silence and never really get help. This quote is feeding people lies. You can't choose to have a metal illness and it's not anywhere near being strong. I honestly can't believe she actually said this.

That's all I have for now. Sorry for not posting in about forever, life really has been getting the best of me (it has ever since I was born). If I realize I forgot something I might make a part 2.

~wolfs 

Why are people so against RP-ing in AJ?

Hey everyone!

So just by the title, you may be able to tell that this is a controversial topic, as some people enjoy roleplaying in AJ while others do not. 

Now, this is going to be nothing like The Contriversity on Mailtime, in fact it's going to be the opposite. I'm going to be stating exactly how I feel and will be trying to bring the other side down. 

Around 2012-2013 I started roleplaying in AJ and fell in love with. Although there are many different types of RP in AJ and the possibilities are endless, I found myself in one of the most popular categories of roleplay-clans. 

For a long time I thought that the whole RP on AJ thing was one sided-as in no one was there to say it was bad or annoying, until one day I was in Sarepia Forest (for no reason in particular, as this did happen before I was interested in roleplaying myself), and two people, a boy and girl were roleplaying as clan cats. Then a girl came up to them and started yelling at them to stop and how annoying it was, and how she hated when people in Animal Jam roleplayed, as the game was not intended to be roleplayed on. 

I came up to the girl and told her they were roleplaying, as they were not actual characters from the books, mainly because I didn't understand the concept of how you don't need to be canon characters to roleplay. 

She never gave any reasoning for her thought process, and being the logical person I am, I tried to put myself in her place, and asked myself the question why she thought so. 

And honestly, I can't think of a legitimate reason. 

Sure she said it was annoying, but if she thought so, couldn't she have left, or maybe gone to a different world? 

Besides a lot of roleplay sites don't provide visual aids, rather they are just a group of people typing in a chat box. Wow! How exciting!

In conclusion, if you don't like roleplaying please just shut your trap and let everyone who does like roleplaying enjoy themselves?

~wolfs

I'm so scared...

Hello everyone. Today has been quiet the emotional roller coaster and all day I was debating what exactly to make a post about and I've finally decided. 

So I'm currently on Spring Break and I haven't been doing much, but this Thursday I'm going to a local amusement park with a large group of friends and as excited as I am, I'm very scared. 

Not about riding roller coasters, I particularly love roller coasters, it's just I'm so scared of what comes after Thursday. 

I've recently been struggling with looking forward to things. As in, I feel like there really is nothing to look forward to. For a long time it used to be weekends on long school days or going to bed, but those were a short term goal. 

This feels like a much, much bigger deal as we've spent forever planning it and my friends and I have dreamed about this actually happening for just about forever and we're actually going to do it!

I guess I should be looking forward to this, as it feels like a really big deal (even if it's not), but my fear is drowning it all out. 

I am just at a point where I really don't know if I can keep this up. I'm not sure if I can go back to not having anything to look forward to. I'm so scared of living in a world where I have nothing to be excited about. 

Okay bye.

~wolfs

What 'Freedom of Speech' Means

This is an important post, especially if you're in the US and you're coming across the excuse 'freedom of speech'! 

Freedom of speech is great, and really it's what this blog is. It's great that I can express my opinion without going to jail! It's amazing how I can disagree with important political figures, and yet I'm not getting a death sentence for it. I love how I can freely express what I think on here and not have people worried sick about this little girl running a blog with 'wrong opinions' and the government finding out! It's great. 

But people take advantage of this and it's so gross. 

Freedom of speech simply means you can state your opinion and you're not going to get in trouble for it.

It does not mean you can bully someone. 

Before you go and tell me I am incorrect, I did research and can confirm it is illegal in 49 states to bully someone (however the last state does have a strict policy about bullying), so if you are to come across a bully who says 'I have freedom of speech to bully you!', feel free to inform them they are wrong. It is against the law! You cannot be using 'freedom of speech' and be bullying them at the same time.

'Freedom of speech' isn't an actual argument for bullies and it drives me insane when they think it is! 

This should seriously be talked about in schools at the beginning of the year along with those assemblies about bullying. 

I know this post is short but there isn't much else to add on to this (unless you want a story from my life with a girl who used the whole freedom of speech thing and how it includes bullying thing on me in a debate), so I hope you enjoyed!

-wolfs4evea 

._. i'm depressed

I have some bad news.

More for me personally than for you/whoever is reading this.

Last weekend I was feeling really bad about something I've been feeling for years but I've only just recently decided to tell someone.

I first told my best friend last Saturday, who believed I should tell someone (professional), so I decided to speak with the school counselor. The following Monday I left a meeting request for the counselor, she didn't get back to me until Wednesday morning. 

I told her how I felt. 

I said that life felt pointless, and how I didn't want any part in it (I sorta talked about this in my last post).

And then she told me the sorta shocking bit. The school counselor said 'Depression is like the common cold of metal health.' and then she gave me a basic lesson about depression, concluding I was probably depressed.

I've been feeling this way since I was in the 2nd-ish grade. 

The school counselor encouraged me to tell my mother, as she and my mom are good friends (my mom helps out at the school often so everyone knows her).

So I did, that afternoon right after school- here's the thing though, she didn't care/understand.

This didn't bother me much other than the fact that I brought up that I'd probably had anxiety (I've noticed I have all of the signs and I tend to be anxious about literally everything.)

I was hoping she would get me some help or take me to a doctor or whatever, but she just said she probably had anxiety too. 

And then I went through this vicious cycle when I went back to thinking 'life is pointless, so what does it matter' which lead me to suicide. 

You might think that suicide would make me feel bad when I start to worry how my death would effect my family/friends/etc, but for years now I haven't felt love/compassion, sadness/pity/empathy/etc. 

Basically, if someone close to me died, I honestly wouldn't feel bad/sad.

._. I got side tracked I'm sorry guys. 

bye

~wolfs4evea

Eek

Hey everyone!

No post for 2 weeks so I figured today was the day to post~

I was considering just publishing one of my many drafts but decided against it.

Today I was rewatching some Youtube videos and I ended up at the Finebrother's channel and watched 'Teens React to Anaconda' and some of the teens started talking about how in this day and age, boys tend to think girls must always say yes and that a girl's body is theirs for the taking.

The first time I watched this video (back in September) this meant nothing to me, but in winter, when sharing a hotel room with my sister, her boyfriend called/Facetimed her and he continuously asked for nudes.(If you don't know what a 'nude' is it's basically exactly what it sounds like. It's a picture of you/your body naked.) Despite the fact my sister constantly declined, he kept asking for nudes. 

Back then I thought nothing of it, however now that I think about it, in this society women are viewed as less.

Did you know that in some places fathers will bury their daughters alive simply because of their gender? I personally think that this is rather funny because females have a XX (girl) genotype and males have XY (boy) genotype. Basically if you constantly have daughters, it's not the mother's fault, rather the father's. 

It also bothers me that boys/men are always told not to act feminine-do you know why? Because society subconsciously thinks that being a girl is degrading. 

This leads me to another topic that I've been considering posting about. Recently I haven't been feeling 'good'. As in I'm getting constant thoughts of how I really don't want to continue living and eventfully be an old woman and think about my memories. I don't want to even have to say 'I remember _____', and as much I want to tell someone, I can't because I'm too nervous I will just be told 'you're just on your period!'. Even though I've felt this way literally since I was 7-8 years old! Last time I checked puberty starts around 11-13! 

I plan on talking to the school counselor Monday. 

Sorry if I was too personal.

~wolfs

Scammers are a lot like bullies and cheaters

[Please read the whole thing, I may say somethings that will offend you, but I also try to point out what we can do about scammers]

In Animal Jam, scammers have always been a problem. 

Yes, even in the beta days, but then there wasn't anything to scam, and it was extremely rare to meet a scammer. 

But now they are more of a problem than ever. 

Scammers are just like cheaters(as in school wise).

Now they are alike in the sense that they cheat to get what they want/feel better about themselves.

However I can't have a scammers-cheaters opinionated analogy saying they are 'just like' with out saying I feel diffierently about them, because I don't.

What I'm saying is that I feel the same way about scammers as I do about cheaters(as in on cheating on tests, etc). 

If you can cheat the system, great! 

Basically, what I'm saying is that if you can trick a person into giving you their items, good job!

However, I am not saying that either cheating or scamming are correct. I do think they're wrong morally, but if you can out think the system, great for you! 

While we're still on this topic, I'd like to say scammers are a bit like bullies.

Yes, they do make you feel bad, but that's not what I want to highlight in this analogy. I say that scamming will never really stop, just like bullying. 

Sure, you can have cute little riots in AJ saying things likes 'Be green and hop for no scamming and safe jamming!' but do you really think that's going to stop a scammer? Because I surely don't, in fact, a scammer might join the rally, in hopes of looking like a better person, or trying to make it seem like they wouldn't scam, but that is just like all those 'stop bullying' groups you see around. To be honest, if I would think nothing of those groups/rallies. Sure, some of the 'stop bully' groups do show you what to do if you come across a bully, which can help, but let's be realistic. I have seen bullies at school, and what did I do? Nothing. I panicked and forgot, and I told myself that if I said something the bully might pick on me, which is selfish, but it's true, and I'm pretty sure it's human instinct.

Now you might just think I'm a cold hearted person, who is probably a scammer, bully, and cheater, and I'm trying to justify my actions. 

I'm not doing any of what's written above, rather just stating my opinion. 

Here's the last part of the whole scammer-bully analogy. 

They also are alike in the sense that they can be 'solved' and 'treated' in the same way. I'm only using these words because I couldn't think up any other sorts of words, I'm not saying start a rally/group to stop them, because as I've stated above, that really wouldn't work.

What I mean is that we should be teaching everyone how to emotionally deal with bullies, meaning we should teach people how to deal with telling on a bully, how to not let them bother you, and basically things along those lines.

~wolfs4evea

Can you buy love/friends/happiness?

Hey everyone! Today a friend of mine brought up an interesting topic during break at school. 

He said something like 'It's so dumb how people think you can buy happiness!' Instantly, my friend (imacutebunbunbunny) and I disagreed. 

It's very possible to buy happiness. Of course there's that cheesy saying 'You can't buy happiness/love/friends.' But it's not true, it's really not. 

Sure, it's a cute saying, but it's the farthest from true. 

Here's a good example of how you can buy happiness (it's the same example I used at break): When I got my computer I was so happy, and guess what, it still makes me extremely happy whenever I use it. You can apply this to anything really. I know several people you get happy when they get something new, or (my favorite) food. Therefore, you can buy happiness. 

Sure it's indirect, but let me tell you how it can be direct.

Say you pay me $2000 dollars (any price really), let me tell you, whether or whether not you tell me to 'be happy' I'm going be pretty happy. 

See? Buying happiness is so easy. 

Now here's where it gets a bit more complicated-buying friends. 

Let me tell you straight up, yes you can buy friends. 

If you ask me if you can buy genuine friends, the answer would be no. 

However, let me put a spin on this.

Say in your school or whatever if you don't wear a certain type of shoes or have the right backpack and hair, no one will be your friend. 

Well if you go buy those shoes, backpack and get the right haircut, technically you can indirectly buy friends-technically. 

Here's the bit I was saving for last, buying love.

This is sort of a mature topic and isn't really appropriate if you're a young 'un.

If you choose to stop reading here, fare well!

Have a great Valentine's Day!

~wolfs

"The school system is fine!"

This is something that has been bothering me for a very long time now. 

The school system is messed up. 

I'm not talking about common-core or whatever. 

I mean what it does mentally to students. 

Have you ever looked up on google 'why does school make me...'? 

No? 

Here's some screenshots of the results.

Tell me this isn't wrong. 

Just looking at it makes me choke and start tearing up. 

This should not be what comes up first, school should not make you feel this bad. 

I'd love to say this only happens to anti-social students with bad grades, but it really doesn't. 

In elementary school, for a long time in the final year, I would have meltdowns as a daily thing, and then I got back a writing assessment and got a terrible grade on it. When I came home I was shaking, and I cried and threw up so much that night, I skipped dinner, not wanting it to come back up. Thinking about it makes me choke up. I even remember using a lighter and burning my wrist slightly before slashing deep into my thigh with a knife

(still have the scars for proof). I had good grades and great friends then so this doesn't apply to kids with bad grades.(Oh god, now I'm dry retching.)

I remember around Thanksgiving break, on Saturday I felt a weight lifted that I didn't even know was there. On the next Sunday before school, I literally cried for an hour before throwing up until there was nothing in me anymore and I began drying retching in front of the toilet. A similar thing happened recently during on the last Sunday of winter break. Not to mention I had trouble sleeping because I kept having nightmares about school during both breaks. Now I'm dreading spring break because of it and I'm not even sure why this keeps happening-my grades have been great. 

Maybe you think I'm just a wimp who's got terrible anxiety and is extremely squeamish.(I'm not on medication, however I had to visit a consoler for a long time.) 

However, I do hope I have convinced a large lot of you that the school system's not right.

~a very upset wolfs

'Only Members!'

So there's this thing I've been seeing around AJ recently.

I used to see it a lot more a few years back, but it seems as if it's making a come back (cheesy sounding, I know)

It's the whole 'Only members!' thing.

The term litterally can be put anywhere, from 'Party in my den ONLY MEMBERS!' to 'Fashion Show in my den ONLY MEMBERS!' and I'm here to say I'm so freaking sick of it.

Some people can't afford memberships/parents won't allow them, or can't get them in their country and because of this you're going to discriminate and make it so they can't go to your online party? It's as wrong as when blacks were discriminated against (even though in this case it is not as extreme).

Because this post is so short I think this is the perfect transition for another topic that's been bothering me for years now.

Members and non-members are not suppose to have equal rights in AJ.

Members pay actual money to get the privileges they get. Would it make sense if non members got the same privileges for free?

If they did then no one would buy memberships and AJ would go bankrupt.

You may be asking why this matters.

It matters because AJ is a business, like it or not, and they need money to run the website. It costs more than you'd think.

Now this may sound like a controversial post-as in first I'm saying 'non-members and members are equal' and then 'members pay so they get more privileges'.

Besides, compared to other websites non-members in AJ have a lot more things. For example, if you're non-member in Club Penguin or Moshi Monsters it can get boring fast.

Well what I mean is that non-members shouldn't get all the privileges members do because they don't pay, however that doesn't mean you should discriminate them.


~wolfs:D

The Beauty of AJ Relationships

Just as a side note before you continue, when I say 'relationship' I'm not just saying friendships, I am also referring to dating/crushes or basically any sort of relationship with some one on Animal Jam. 

Also - I am not using IRL/in real life because that sounds a lot like saying my friends on AJ are fake, and we're not really friends, and they're not real people. 

I recently realized AJ relationships are beautiful. 

I have a few reasons for this, however I believe even though I don't have many reasons, my reasons are strong. 

I think it's beautiful because you know nothing about the person other than their personality. 

As in, you have no idea what they look like, if they have an accent, where they come from, and so on. 

I'm not just saying that Animal Jam is exclusive in this sense, really you can apply this to any online game or chat room/internet friend. 

I have met several people on Animal Jam who I came close to, and I would actually consider them better friends than some of the people I know outside of AJ(heidei, rileyri62, xxquicksilverxx, lightnightstrike85, lovebug, etc...). 

And when we drifted apart, I felt loss. 

Most recently with heidei and rileyri62, when we stopped talking about a year ago, I felt a huge loss in my chest and honestly typing it here is making me tear up, and it's hard to admit because I'm afraid they don't feel the same, and think I'm just 'some girl on the internet' and don't feel loss like me. 

I feel the same about dating on Animal Jam.

I'm not saying you should be dating on AJ, as many girls/boys rush into dating strangers on Animal Jam because (I guess?) it seems cool.

I'm saying when you actually have feelings for someone on Animal Jam, and they don't necicarly have to be the opposite gender. 

If you've never had legitimate feelings for someone on this game, then you're probably thinking I'm crazy and you can't have feelings for someone you don't know. I thought the same, I actually remember one day I was in Sarepia Forest and I saw someone say something alone the lines of 'I don't understand how you can have a crush on AJ when you don't know the person.' and I thought, Yeah I agree, how can you have feelings for someone on this game? 

However, I ate my words not very long after. 

I met a guy and basically I we ended up dating and it was nice, I actually had feelings for him, and to me this was amazing, because outside of AJ I have not had an actual crush since the 1st grade. I've lied about crushes to fit in, but that's not the same as the feeling you get in your chest when you have a real crush. 

I've had at least 5-7 crushes on AJ and many of them I have dated, and I would like to say not all of them have been boys. 

Now I'm not going to say I was openly looking for a girl to date, rather I was catfished. 

If you don't know what a catfish is (other than the animal) it's basically a way of saying when someone makes a fake profile and poses as someone else. 

As in I met a 'guy' and it turned out he was just a girl pretended she was a guy, and I've been on both sides of this, as I've been the one who was pretending to be a guy, and the other way around. 

And both ways I had feelings for the other person in the relationship. 

I didn't mean to make such a long post about my relationships in AJ just to prove a point, but I do feel it was important to have.

~wolfs 

A 'True Fan'

Today this post is going to be a rant-vent post, mainly to point out annoying fans of generally anything.

Do you know what the most annoying thing is when you become a fan of something?

When you decide to somehow let word out that you're a new fan of [blank], somebody decides that you're not a 'true fan' or you don't 'count' because you haven't been there from the begining. 

Honestly, to anyone who does this, what the hell is your logic? I would try to imitate you, but I have no idea what goes through your mind when you say something like 'you're not a true fan'. 

Shouldn't you be happy more people are discovering what you like and enjoy? 

I understand that you may want to keep it to yourself, but that is no excuse for hating on someone because are a new fan. 

What's worse is being shunned for only liking the older/newer things they made.

A good example of this is a band.

Say this band started out making rock, but then switched gears and started making pop?

So what you only like some of their music? You can still be a fan! You're no less or more than the next guy. 

Perhaps your upset because they will no longer be making rock music, but you're got to remember that being a musician is their career. They've got to make money, and sometimes making 'pop' is more successful, it makes more sense to continue.

Perhaps the band is not doing this as a way to get money, but rather they are growing and learning. There is no reason you should try to prevent that, if you don't like their new stuff, simply don't listen to it!

Want to know what is equally as bad? 

When you get shunned for liking multiple things and the two things you like are considered 'rivals'. 

A good example of this might be One Direction and Doctor Who. (I'm not saying all DW fans hate 1D, rather that this is a good example because 1D placed their 'day' on DW's anniversary)

Say you like both DW & 1D, yet you are are told you've betrayed Doctor Who. 

Who the hell cares? 

Being a Whovian, I do find it a bit annoying that 1D decided August 23 would be their 'day', after it being Doctor Who's anniversary for over 50 years.

However, I wouldn't go shun 1D fans, what control do they have over the date 1D decides to make their day? 

Simply put, don't shun other fans because they haven't been there as long as you, only like a time period of something, or are fans of two different 'rivals'. 

~a very annoyed Wolfs

The Contriversity on Mailtime

Hey guys! 

So I haven't really been posting, but I probably should've thought about my 'promise' I made about posting once a week. 

I'm not really 'busy' but I never really remember to make posts, plus around the holidays (summer, winter, etc) I travel quite a bit, which really doesn't help my case. 

But I've decided to do a quick two-sided opinion post about mailtime. 

Here's a bit of history. 

Julian2 popularized mailtime, but I don't think he was the first. I might be wrong, but I used to enjoy watching his videos and I do believe in one of his old videos he did say something about someone else doing it first. However, I'm not sure so don't quote me on it. 

Ever since then several other popular jammers have done it, many people still do it, including everyday jammers who ask for items. 

Technically mailtime is not scamming. 

I believe last year-ish if you asked AJHQ about weather it was scamming or not, they'd say no. Because, technically it's not. If people want to send you items/you ask for people to send you items and you film it, it's not scamming.

 However, this is the part where I say I bet if you asked AJHQ about it being scamming today, they'd probably say it is scamming. This is because you could tell people to send you gifts but not actually record. This is why if you say the word 'mailtime' in AJ you'd getting a warning. (I don't know this for sure, but I'm positive it's correct considering AJ has admitted MT is not scamming.) 

Mailtime time could also be seen as a way of shaming people who are not rare. Those who try to be rare and send good stuff and can't. Sure, maybe whoever is hosting the mailtime will say "Thanks so much!" but do they really mean it? Humans are greedy and it would be impolite/mean to act unhappy with the item they were given. I'm not saying people who do mailtime always do this, I'm just pointing out it's extremely easy to lie(which takes me back to my last point). It also praises those who can send rares. Often times more than one famous jammer would receive something good in their mailtime (maybe a spike, freedom wings etc) and buddy the person. I do recall once GummyUnicorn and Bepper pointing out that this isn't them wanting rares from the person who sent the item, GU and Bepper said they added the person because it showed how big of a fan they were. Honestly I'm sure there's fans out there who'd like to do this (as I was saying before), but don't have any good items, besides they could be giving them their one rare item, and now-a-days most people don't even add the person who gave them a rare item, they open their player card for a second or so and that's it. It could be considered an unfair process altogether.

It could also be viewed as a way of appreciation to fans, as in you send me something in trade for being on screen for a couple of minutes, or a way of getting a response from a famous jammer even if they don't physically send you something back. I don't have much to support this side, however for some getting featured in a video of their idol, even for two seconds, is a big deal, so I can see how some enjoy mailtime. 

Personally I don't have a 'side' I don't think it's wrong or right.

These aren't all the points for both sides, just some that I think are strong for winning a debate or something like that. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this :P 

I'm going to bed (it's 3am for me) 

~wolfs4evea

SkyClan was Epic

Hey everyone. 

I know I said I would try to post at least once a week, but last week I was busy getting prepared for halloween and my birthday (believe it or not my birthday is on halloween), and this week I stupidly waited last minute to finish a project that was worth a last amount of points. 

Today's post isn't going to be as cheerful as I wish it was. 

So around two years ago, one of the first things I put on this blog was a post about my AJ clan. It was called SkyClan is EPIC!!. 

If you haven't already noticed, today's post is titled 'SkyClan was Epic.'

Was. 

It makes a big difference. 

You see, around two years ago I remember heidei, or the former leader of SkyClan, one of my best friends on AJ told me (in summer), that she'd just realized she wasn't going to be on much that year.

That tore me apart, however it didn't turn out so. 

We talked often. Sometimes roleplayed. 

It was all very fun. 

Until winter. 

I visited a family member and stayed with them for a long time, I even started going to school there. They had no computer so I never went on AJ. 

When I came back home and went on AJ I found many of my old close friends like heidei, pen45, or rileyri62  hadn't been on in a long time.

Eventfully, I quit, or took an unannounced break from AJ. 

Sometimes I would log on and see heidei, riley, but mostly pen. 

Everytime I met up with them it was like nothing had changed and it was heartwarming. 

However summer rolled around and I barely went on AJ. 

School started up again and I started playing a bit more. 

Often checked how long my old clanmates hadn't been on. As the number grew, my heart broke more and more.

Then one day, the numbers dropped back to 1. 

I watched and waited. 

And then it was 30 again.

I know this isn't too interesting.

I know we've all had close buddies that eventfully quit, but this is really hard for me to talk about. I'm always so nervous they might think that it's stupid I'm still heartbroken about something so old, and that I was never really any of their 'best friends' on AJ. 

I can still remember the day I had joined SkyClan. 

I had been listening to Here's Hope by Owl City all day. 

 I was feeling good. I walked into Sarepia Forest and saw someone roleplaying as a lost kit and decided to roleplay with them. 

Then heidei showed up and announced that she was hosting a clan in her den. The girl bolted. 

Heidei and the kit were trying to get me to come along, but at the time I hadn't yet read warriors and thought clans were for cats who couldn't feed themselves. 

So I refused for a long time, until I finally gave in. 

I was named Darkheart, a queen. I was in love with my name. 

There's more, but it's not too interesting.

Anywho, goodbye everyone!

~wolfs/silverstar

Trying to be Positive

Hey everyone. 

So I think I'm a pretty positive person. 

I try to not bring other people down by being mean or sad all the time(much unlike one of my friends). 

I'm a selfish person, but at the same time not so much. 

I'm selfish when it comes to physical things, however not so much emotionally. 

I mean this as in, if I'm sad/upset/angry I would not say anything to my friends to bring them down too, however when it comes to things I could hold in my hands I would do anything for them. If that makes sense. 

I'm always regarded as selfish though. And when meeting new people, they never seem to care what how I try to make sure everyone else happy, only about the things I have etc. 

Which is tough for me because I've always been sort of negative. 

[DO NOT continue reading if things easily depress/upset you] 

Okay not always but ever since around five-ish years ago, I started to realize a lot of things. 

For example, 

I realized I really don't believe in god or the afterlife. 

Which lead to darker thoughts.

Such as, 

I don't want to die. 

After I'm dead it wouldn't matter though. 

Nothing would matter. 

And then I realized nothing really matters. 

And what's this all for? 

Wake up, eat, work, eat, work, eat, work, sleep, repeat. 

I don't care if it's not work but it's all a little pointless.

And then I came to the conclusion that suicide isn't a terrible option. 

I think about this a lot. 

There isn't a day I don't think about this, even if it's very brief.

Some days, it's worse than others, some days it doesn't bother me. On good days I figure that's why I should make the most of life, on bad days I have trouble even getting by. 

That's all I have for now.

Bye guys. 

Justifying my entry...

Hey everyone! 

I know I just posted two days ago, but it's a 3 day weekend for me and I've got no plans so I'm finding myself with a lot of freetime. 

Before I get to today's topic I would just like to list my goals here so I can easily check back to them. I have decided to post here and on Jamaa Times at least once a week, or at least try to. 

Okay now on to the title.
'Justifying my entry' isn't very explanatory, but lets just say, every year there's this contest (I don't know if it's only in my state or if it's across the country so I'm not going to go into detail about it), and this year the theme was "to make the world a better place" I wasn't going to enter, however, my art teacher made my class enter. Since I was one of the first to finish the project we started prior to the contest, I had plenty of time to get started. I prompted our teacher with questions about size limits, then got started. I sketched out some items and before I knew it the period was over. The following day I sat in my seat thinking back to some pictures I saw on tumblr the night before, and decided that I wanted to do some crayon melting instead of painted. So I asked the teacher and she said she believed I could do it and so then this weekend I got started on it. 

I'm not going to upload a picture because if I did I could get in trouble for 'stealing it' (even thou it's mine).  Anyway here's the description, its got four people standing under an 12" umbrella, protecting them from the melted crayon, which I made rainbow-y. The person holding the umbrella the umbrella has a small pink heart on their chest. 

Now I would just like to justify it.
I choose to use the melted crayon because I feel like it represented how crazy and random life can be. I made the background rainbow-y because I feel like it showed everything and anything life can get. I painted the person holding the umbrella with a small pick heart to show that the world would be a better place if more people were kinder and cared for others.Lastly, I used silhouettes of people because I didn't want make it specific races or genders.

I know the justifying bit was awfully short but I accidentally refreshed the page and lost all the things I wrote about it so I shortened it. Now before you say I'm homophobic because I had an umbrella shield a group of people from the rainbow (the rainbow is often a symbol of being gay etc), I would like to say it's actually the opposite. I am all for the LGBT community. I hadn't even realized people might think my artwork was homophobic until my brother had pointed it out to me.

Alright I'm gonna go relax, bye!

(By the way, please don't comment something like 'you support gays so you must be gay!!!' No, I'm not gay. Just because I support animal rights doesn't make me an alpaca.)

How is everyone?

Hello everyone! 

How is everyone doing?

So long time no post, and I am so sorry. 

However, school has really been getting the best of me, back when I started this blog (about 1 1/2 years ago), I had much more free time because summer was coming around and I thought (for whatever reason) I could manage about four blogs at once. Obviously they weren't all updating, some were roleplay, some were just tests. It varied. I was completely exhausted. I couldn't keep up with school, my grades dropped, I barely updated, and I missed out on a lot of sleep!

But anyway, that's not what I'm here for at the moment. 

I'm here to tell you, looking back at this blog, at all the 'drama' two years ago, it was really stupid. 

I mean there were times that I was really hurt, like the post 'Behind the 4evea: Why Can't I be Wanted?" (I deleted so don't waste your time looking for it!), when I made that post I was really feeling down in the dumps and I cried for ages about it. 

But looking at the time when one of my irl besties and I argued because I wouldn't play a game with her was really dumb.  Last night I was on a skype call with whatwhat550/nebuladust/mintypawprints and we laughed about a lot of stupid things that we(mostly me) wrote about on here. I used to get upset about the smallest things, and make a big deal about everything, now-a-days if I had a friend like how I used to be I would probably drop them because who has time for someone so negative!? Scratch that, I would tell my self it gets better. o3o

Looking back at a lot of these posts also made me upset, because a lot of them I wrote when I still talked to some of my really close, good online friends. It really made me realize how much I miss them and SkyClan. I really do miss heidei, and rileyri62, mobeymonkey and so many other clanmates but I have doubts I will ever talk to them again. Even if I we do talk again, it probably won't be the same because we've really drifted and it hurts me to think about that. I'm a whole lot rarer than I was once, but they're just pixels and if I could, I would trade my items for my friends back any day.

Anyways that's all I really have to say at the moment. 

Alrighty, bye everyone! c: 

(btw if you want to contact me you can go check email me at katniss.heiswe@gmail.com, search for Kimberly Sinn on youtube, kik me at wolfyperson or jonhlockinletardis, or just comment below!) 

OMG LEAF ME ALONE I H8 U

I am not okay

I am dead inside

My soul is corrupted

I tried to eat my own feet

All my friends hate me

I cant speel right

I am sad.

Will anyone help me?

Please.

All I need is a friend.

(OMG AND LIKE BTW I AM LIKE SO MAD AT MY FRIENDS AND IM SAD AND LIKE I DON LIKE U WOLFS4EVEA YOU MADE ME EAT MY HAMSTER CRI)

GO AWAY -SOB-.

CRRRIII