What it's like being ace/aro

Hello everyone. I've wanted to write this for like forever and I might as well get it over with. 

So recently realized I was ace/aro. If you don't know what that means it's fine. This isn't what I would call a 'mature' topic, so I think all the kiddies can enjoy this too. 

Ace is short for asexual. Aro is short for aromantic. 

When I say 'asexual' I'm not referring to how I reproduce, I'm talking about my sexuality.  

Asexual means not feeling sexual attraction, and aromantic means not feeling romantic attraction. (Quick tip: never assume just because someone is aseuxal it means they're aromantic, vise versa.) 

Before I share what it feels like to be me, I'm just going to explain what it was like prior to this. 

So ever since I was a young 'un I never really had a crush on anyone. I remember people asking me 'who's your crush?' and just being unsure what to say, and typically just answering whoever my friends liked or who was popular. I also remember lots of confusion around my sexuality recently. For a long time I figured I was pansexual, but just hadn't found anyone I liked yet. Then I decided that I wasn't ready to label myself, and for that period of time I was so confused because I wasn't sure why I never had crushes before. At first I decided I was just a late bloomer, however I realized that couldn't be the case and I felt so terrible. The questioned lingered- what's wrong with me?.

Only a few months ago I learned the terms ace/aro, and instantly I felt soooo glad. There were others like me.

Now here's the thing about identifying as ace/aro. People have a tendacy to say and ask things that are super hurtful. For example, the day I came out as ace/aro, and I told one of my best friends they instantly replied with 'don't worry you'll like boys when you're older', which isn't an uncommon thing for me to hear now that I'm openly ace/aro. I find this so offensive, because it's like you're telling me my sexuality isn't real and it's just a phase that I'll pass though, and even if it was, it's so rude to say that to someone! Plus I'm not worried, I'm happy I know my sexuality. Imagine how you'd feel if I went up to you and you were happily married or whatever and I said 'it's just a phase, you'll get over it don't worry!!' I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be happy with me saying that so don't say it to me.

For whatever reason, when I came out as ace/aro it was seen as annoying as I kept embracing it, and I was told 'it's okay, you're not different because you're not straight.'
Another thing I hear a lot is asexuality/aromantic isn't 'real' or you can choose to be asexual/aromantic. I personally can't understand why anyone would want to be ace/aro. Especially in a world like today where pretty much everyone is focused on romances. And telling me my sexuality isn't real is so hurtful because that makes me feel so alone and isolated. No matter what you say about my sexuality being false, it's nice for me to have a word because I can find other people who feel the same and I can talk with them and feel not isolated.

Speaking of feeling isolated, one thing I would really appreciate is representation. This isn't just exclusive to people who are ace/aro, this really goes for everyone in the LGBTQA community. This is so important because it lets people know that it's not weird to identify as anything besides straight/cis, and it helps you not feel alone/different if you identify as anything besides straight/cis. I don't care if only 0.01% of the population is part of the LGBTQA+ community. Seriously.

Another thing that pisses me off SO MUCH when talking about this topic is when people say that the 'A' in LGBTQA stands for ally. (An ally is someone who is not LGBTQA but supports them). The A stands for multiple things but one thing it does not stand for is ally.  Allies are not oppressed, in fact if you're straight/cis you're privileged so stop complaining. It's great that you support us, however part of being an ally is accepting you don't get a letter.

Lastly, why are critics saying some characters in shows/movies who are queer/not cis for 'no reason'. That just enforces the idea that being cis/straight is the default, which by the way, is really damn offending. It also solidifies the idea that just average/normal people can't be anything but straight/cis.

Sorry this post isn't too organized. I've been working on this post for quite a bit & I am really not in the mood to edit this too much, thanks.

~Wolfs4evea
(Might continue my ranting in a part two)

The aftermath of a toxic friendship...

A few years ago I was friends with this girl (we'll call her H), and although I didn't realize it at the time it was a toxic relationship.

A toxic relationship is an unhealthy relationship. It doesn't necicarly have to be like hitting or whatever, but if the person is always putting you down and using you it's probably a toxic relationship. 

I'm just going to quickly summarize what it was like at the time and then go into how it's still affecting me today, despite the fact that it's been 3 years. 

So when I was friends with H she really used me. And was power hungry, forcing me to go with her and bully my friends (I regret that so much and hate myself for ever even doing that), and not only that she seemed convinced it was a good idea to make me feel absolutely terrible. I remember there was a point in my life that when I got home I would cry because I hated what happened to me. I also remember her getting tired of me after awhile, and replacing me. (I should have realized she did this earlier, but she's the kind of person you just really want to be friends with so I was blinded). H just happened to want to be extremely popular and at the time, and shunned me whenever I tried to object, and even made me follow certain dumb trends. 

Basically what I'm saying is she was mean to me and my other friends, forced me into doing things I didn't want to do and made me feel worthless.

Now here's the aftermath.

Whenever I'm around her, I start panicking. I feel lightheaded, my breathing becomes uneven, I feel sick, I can't focus and just in general it's a terrible experience. Even being around her new friends makes me feel this way, and even when I'm not around them I remember their remarks and feel panic-y.

And this is why I hate 'forgive & forget', 'don't hold grudges' or any other term of the sort, because sure it's good to let things go or forgive, however I can't just 'forget' this. This doesn't just apply to me, it applies to anyone in a toxic/abusive relationship. These sayings are unfair and assume they haven't scarred you.

Now before I go, please please PLEASE ǝsɐǝld NEVER STAY IN A TOXIC/ABUSIVE RELATION!!!! Don't listen to people who tell you otherwise! It's doesn't matter if it's just a friendship or you're dating, NEVER EVER EVER EVER! stay in an abusive relationship.
PLEASE!!!

~wolfs

Why I don't like Meghan Trainor

 

I felt obliged to make this post after two of my close friends got pissed off because I don't like Meghan Trainor, before you continue, please please please please ǝsɐǝld PLEASE do not say start a debate, I'm not interested. 

She's not actually fat

The thing about Meghan Trainor is she isn't actually fat. She's average. This isn't a very strong reason, however it's important because 1) people who are actually fat might think that they are way too fat (if that makes sense) and this might wreak their self conscious, or 2) average sized people who might start believing they're fat, when they're not and (once again) wreak their self conscious.

"I'm not a feminist."

I don't think this is a very strong reason, but it's worth mentioning. Although I don't have any direct quotes, her intentions reflect feminist ideals and this enrages me because this sends out the wrong idea of feminism out to people. 

All About That Bass

The song 'All About That Bass' may seem body positive, but it's not. Sure, it tells girls who are fat to love themselves, however it at the same time shames skinny girls. Just because you're skinny doesn't mean you love your body. This song is just as bad as any song that shames fat girls, it's a gross song, and if that isn't bad enough, it claims that feeling confident depends on a man's opinion. Like what!? Even if that's not the intended meaning of the song, it sounds clear to me and she's not really getting the 'correct' meaning through.

"I wasn't strong enough to have an eating disorder... I tried to go anorexic for a good 3 hours. I ate ice and celery, but that's not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like 'Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like imminently." 
If you haven't got the hint, this is (a disgusting) quote from Meghan. Hard to believe, huh? There are so many things wrong with this quote, so don't mind if I type a lot. 1) The 'I want's strong enough to have an eating disorder.' is so revolting. Metal illnesses aren't 'strengths', strength is pulling yourself out of a metal illness. Honestly this is like saying 'I wasn't sad enough to be depressed.' or 'I didn't act well enough to pass for schizophrenic.'  It's such a hurtful and terrible thing to say! 2) 'I tried to go anorexic for a good 3 hours.' This pisses me off so much. It's not a new fad diet that you can choose to par take in. It's a SERIOUS metal illness with a DEATH TOLL and lands several people in the hospital yearly. Ignorance like this is why so many people with metal illnesses suffer in silence and never really get help. This quote is feeding people lies. You can't choose to have a metal illness and it's not anywhere near being strong. I honestly can't believe she actually said this.

That's all I have for now. Sorry for not posting in about forever, life really has been getting the best of me (it has ever since I was born). If I realize I forgot something I might make a part 2.

~wolfs 

Why are people so against RP-ing in AJ?

Hey everyone!

So just by the title, you may be able to tell that this is a controversial topic, as some people enjoy roleplaying in AJ while others do not. 

Now, this is going to be nothing like The Contriversity on Mailtime, in fact it's going to be the opposite. I'm going to be stating exactly how I feel and will be trying to bring the other side down. 

Around 2012-2013 I started roleplaying in AJ and fell in love with. Although there are many different types of RP in AJ and the possibilities are endless, I found myself in one of the most popular categories of roleplay-clans. 

For a long time I thought that the whole RP on AJ thing was one sided-as in no one was there to say it was bad or annoying, until one day I was in Sarepia Forest (for no reason in particular, as this did happen before I was interested in roleplaying myself), and two people, a boy and girl were roleplaying as clan cats. Then a girl came up to them and started yelling at them to stop and how annoying it was, and how she hated when people in Animal Jam roleplayed, as the game was not intended to be roleplayed on. 

I came up to the girl and told her they were roleplaying, as they were not actual characters from the books, mainly because I didn't understand the concept of how you don't need to be canon characters to roleplay. 

She never gave any reasoning for her thought process, and being the logical person I am, I tried to put myself in her place, and asked myself the question why she thought so. 

And honestly, I can't think of a legitimate reason. 

Sure she said it was annoying, but if she thought so, couldn't she have left, or maybe gone to a different world? 

Besides a lot of roleplay sites don't provide visual aids, rather they are just a group of people typing in a chat box. Wow! How exciting!

In conclusion, if you don't like roleplaying please just shut your trap and let everyone who does like roleplaying enjoy themselves?

~wolfs

I'm so scared...

Hello everyone. Today has been quiet the emotional roller coaster and all day I was debating what exactly to make a post about and I've finally decided. 

So I'm currently on Spring Break and I haven't been doing much, but this Thursday I'm going to a local amusement park with a large group of friends and as excited as I am, I'm very scared. 

Not about riding roller coasters, I particularly love roller coasters, it's just I'm so scared of what comes after Thursday. 

I've recently been struggling with looking forward to things. As in, I feel like there really is nothing to look forward to. For a long time it used to be weekends on long school days or going to bed, but those were a short term goal. 

This feels like a much, much bigger deal as we've spent forever planning it and my friends and I have dreamed about this actually happening for just about forever and we're actually going to do it!

I guess I should be looking forward to this, as it feels like a really big deal (even if it's not), but my fear is drowning it all out. 

I am just at a point where I really don't know if I can keep this up. I'm not sure if I can go back to not having anything to look forward to. I'm so scared of living in a world where I have nothing to be excited about. 

Okay bye.

~wolfs